CATHIE FILIAN's Handmade Happy Hour

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The beginning: Becoming Fost Adopt Parents to Baby S.

· by: Cathie Filian

It’s been over a month since I have blogged here…. when I last wrote, I was in the stage of “Let’s Pretend I’m 8.5 months Pregnant”.  Well that ship has sailed and our lives have been blessed with a Baby Girl.  Since she is in Foster Care, I will need to keep her identity under wraps.  So no pics of her beautiful face…. just toes, fingers and hair.

She is healthy, happy, growing like a champ and a little miracle in our lives.

Here is how it all went down.

Eddie and I have been planning on fost/adopting for over a year.  We took classes, did a home study, got our home certified, filled out hundreds of papers and tried not to freak out while we waited for the phone to ring.

Our plans to fost/adopt took a little longer than the other graduates from our class.  Not that we think it’s a bad thing….. for us it’s all about timing and when the time is right… the time is right.  We had a few snags a long the way.  The first was when our 17-year old dog, Max, passed away on the day before we were to begin our home study.  We were heartbroken.  We postponed the meeting until our hearts had sometime to heal.  The next derailment was when I was not so gracefully thrown 15 feet from a cab in NYC.   Me with a giant black eye and a hobble was not exactly the picture of a “happy and healthy” home.  Then we had my crash and burn sickness after our baby-moon in Mexico that had me in the hospital with an IV and in bed for 10 days.  It seemed that every time we were inching closer to the finish line we were met with a set back.  Well set back no more.  We were officially certified a Fost/Adopt home on November 14th.

“I bought this just in case….”
So now what?  We waited.  Since we went with an agency we knew that the phone would only ring from 8-5 on Monday – Friday.  It was exhilarating and maddening at the same time.  As Thanksgiving approached we couldn’t help but wonder if a child would be placed with us before the holiday.  It didn’t help our curiosity when our SW (that is short for Social Worker) said…. “yep, it’s a huge possibility that you will have a baby in the home by Thanksgiving!”  So what do I do?  Naturally, I rush out and buy a Thanksgiving baby tee and bib… and try not to freak out.
It was about 10 am on Thanksgiving eve.  Pies were baking, the turkey was being brined and the house was a flurry of fall harvest foods and decorations.  Family was arriving tomorrow for a big meal and in the Filian house that means that means we DO IT UP!
It was about 10:30 am when Eddie and I both agreed that “they” would not be calling today.  It was Thanksgiving eve and the agency and state would be shutting down early.  It would not be today.  We had convinced ourselves and settled into our tradition of watching the movie, Trading Places.
It was moments later when the phone rang…… I froze.  I looked at the number and it was a 213 area code.  We knew the call would be from a downtown number (213)…… That was it.  This WAS THE CALL.  I answered the call.  Trembling is an understatement.  
“Hello, are you Catherine Filian?” the lady on the phone said to me.  She then introduced herself and said “We have a 2-day old baby girl that needs a home and can you come and get her at 3:00 pm today from the hospital?”  Her name is S.  (S. is not really her name…. since she is in Foster Care, I am using S. for her name to protect her identity.)
She was on speaker phone so Eddie was able to hear the entire conversation.  We were in full blown panic mode…… we had been waiting for this call for over a year and right when we had determined that it “wasn’t coming” ~~~ BOOM, the phone rang.  The fost/adopt protocol allows for us to “hang-up” and discuss in private and then call back.  You literally have about 5 min to make a decision.  
Of course we were calling the SW back in less than 5 min with a boasting, “YES!” and a flurry of questions.  The moments before calling back were less than two, although it felt like a year.  I was sobbing, Eddie was pacing like a lion and we were both scared to death.  We weren’t scared of who Miss S. would be or what she would look like. (BTW – we were open to any child regardless of race or gender and we were certified for 1 child under the age of 1) We were scared because we knew that we were jumping on the roller-coaster ride of our lives…..FOSTER PARENTHOOD.  We were also scared because we are fost/adopting and that means that S. is in foster care with us first and then she MIGHT be adopted into our family later.  MIGHT is not because of us…. but how the system works.  Of course we would sign on the dotted line immediately… but it doesn’t work that way.  We were scared of the MIGHT even though in class we were trained not to be scared.  LOL. Every single child has a different story and case.  With the first phone call it is almost impossible to know what your fost/adopt story will be and what path you will go down.   You just have to trust, believe and above all LOVE and take care of the child that is placed with you. 
On the way to the hospital.

When we rounded the corner at the hospital our hearts burst open with joy, love and pride.  There she was.  It was love at first sight.  She was tiny.  She was perfect.  I fed her in the hospital and got to hold her straight away.  The nurses were so smitten with her that they practically threw her a party. She was our Thanksgiving miracle.  
Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner.
Thanksgiving ~ 2013
So now we are just loving Little Miss S.  Letting courts do what they do.  Crossing our Ts and Dotting our Is.  Documenting everything.  You should see her scrapbook!  Someday…. hopefully soon, I’ll get to share all her stories and photos.  Until then, I’ll be a little cryptic.  
Baby Toes!
ASK AWAY!  Do you have questions?  Wanna know more about being a fost/adopt home.  I am here.  I will answer you.  Send me an email and I’ll do my best to help you with any questions you might have.  It might take me a few to get back to you but I promise I will.
She turned 1-Month on Christmas Day.
I flip/flopped on how much of our story we would share.  I knew that our path was a little different and it comes with lots of questions.  For us we have so much passion for fost/adopt and if we can spread any awareness and get more kids into homes then that is wonderful!  
First trip to Sanrio in Little Tokyo.
Foster Daddy getting S. her first bank account.


Her first dolly…. looks like her.

First visit with our new doctor.  She is doing amazing…… !!!

So far foster parenthood has been very rewarding and full of humor…. just the other day Eddie asked me, “Is that poop or chocolate that is on your boob?” I didn’t do a taste test.

Wish us luck on this journey!  We had some court dates this week and I am hoping to find out what happened today at 3pm.  Until then, we march on with Love, Giggles and POOP!

XoXo Cathie, Eddie and Little Miss S.

You can follow along on day-to-day stuff…. by following my personal page at Facebook.  Sorry I can’t add anymore people there but you can follow.  Instagram is another good place to see pics of our journey.  I’ll be blogging big updates here and new craft projects at our new blog….. Handmade Happy Hour.

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Comments

  2. Brenda Burfeind says

    Congratulations! I’ve been following you for years and this is the best thing you’ve done. I’m so excited for you and will pray daily all goes well. You will make great parents!

  3. Loretta B says

    I was lucky enough to meet you and Eddie in person and see your beautiful home. Baby S is very lucky to be with both of you. I get tears in my eyes when I read your posts because they are so full of love. So very happy for you.

  5. Debra Brod says

    You are making me cry more than Steve!!! LOL Our hearts are bursting with love and thankfulness for you three. She is such a precious little thing and she must know how much you loved her even before you knew about her. The love was there and when they said “it’s a girl” your love ran over. Now that the holidays are over tell her her “Aunt Weezie” will be making something pretty for her bed and her baby dolls. Hopefully that will motivate me to have stuff done before she graduates kindergarten. We love you. We love little Miss S and cannot wait to meet her and love on her. And we are always available to babysit long distance, hehe.

  8. jengd says

    It’s a bit belated but congrats on the speed of all of this! I wish you much luck over the coming months in making this a permanent change to all of your lives!

  9. Morena Hockley says

    Thanks for sharing. This brought back so many great memories of when we adopted our oldest child. My first Thanksgiving as a mom was spent in a foreign country holding my new son, who was two months old. I remember it fondly every thanksgiving, as I know you will, too. That day is magical. Many congrats!

  10. Saga says

    I followed a link from Pinterest about a Tshirt refashion, and ended up captivated and moved by your story. And what a beautiful little girl.
    Thank you for sharing, and I hope for you, that she gets you as her parents permanently.

  11. IVF-karusell says

    Congratulations!! I have friends who became fostparents to two girls (twins) because they cound’t have own children.
    Me and my husband went trough IVF to became parents.

    Did you try the “ordinary” way at first and then decided to become fostparents or was it a plan from start?

    Exuse my bad english! I hope you can understand anyway!
    Best regards,
    Jannica from Sweden

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